I read this post/mail just now. But it came to me at very very right time. Just a few days ago I had a very big issue about trust and disappointment. And being disappointed and feeling as if I should do some things I don’t really feel like doing, because I felt as if I disappoint others, if I don’t do these things.

I feel more and more that the better way at these moments from now on will be that I will tell my truth. If I don’t want to do these things, I will say so and I will ask others to help me and do some things by themselves, not me doing things for others while not wanting to or not having time for that.

Thank you for sharing the wisdom

Best wishes,
Kristi

I only just read your response and appreciate your taking a moment to commment. Personally, that was my biggest fear in beginning a network marketing distribution business. I was afraid that people would think of me only in one way and forget how else they know me.

In the beginning, that’s how it was for me because I was so naively excited about my business that I babbled on about it and didn’t understand why EVERYONE didn’t see what I saw.

Then I began to doubt myself and have not worked full out on my business until I was able to understand coming from a place of contribution. Listening to where people are first, hearing their issues and finding out if they are open to a possible solution. Just telling people something is not effective unless you know they have a desire to know.

Thanks again for speaking,

Jodi

I feel somewhat bombarded lately by friends and acquaintances who are involved in multi-level marketing ventures. I find myself avoiding calls, not returning calls and being annoyed that they have changed the nature of our friendship. I am very disappointed in them for their sales approach and in myself for being such a wuss and not simply telling them I am not interested–what they are offering is ‘not on my radar screen’, as Jodi would say.

Thank you for your thought provoking work, Mike.

Your words were,“Embracing disappointment instead of avoiding it,” I get that this is a way to help manage the strong feelings that can be crippling in our reactions and stifling in our self-expressions. Anything you are experiencing authentically processes more quickly than if you try to protect yourself from it and blunt the pain by some false means or rationalization.

I learned a way to understand and move through disappointment from a book by Kim Klaver called, “If My Product’s So Great, How Come I Can’t Sell It?” The following are my words as I understand the idea from Ms. Klaver.

When you walk into a room and someone calls your name, you look up. Or maybe you hear people across the room mentioning your child’s name or your business or your sport or anything that interests you. Don’t you look up? Why? Because what they mentioned is ON YOUR RADAR.

Now, when someone says, “no, not interested,” to me in a business situation, I get that what I’m telling them about is not even on their radar. If it was, there would be a different conversation. Answering skepticism or a price objection? Any legitimate objection can be faced, taken care of, answered. But, there is no comeback for when your idea or invitation is not even on a person’s radar. So, being disappointed isn’t even relevant here. What is important is to realize that you just had no idea what was on their radar, or not on their radar.

This idea helps me understand that, when someone disappoints me, we probably are not on the same page to begin with. Most likely, their views and thoughts I have only IMAGINED to be in agreement with mine and the rejection of an idea or even of me personally is just the evidence needed to show that we are not on the same page.

Whether it is my daughter behaving in a way I don’t care for, a business prospect not reacting the way I had hoped, or my husband not wanting to continue with our marriage, these are disappointments and I am affected by them. But, if I really look and tell myself the truth, their vision wasn’t mine to begin with. A tough thought to swallow but, it helps me deal with the disappointment. I take responsibility for that disappointment and can learn from it, moving forward.

On the positive side, I find it much easier to build my business if I recognize that I am speaking with someone who has been looking for my product. It is already on their radar. So, rather than try to convince a person that they SHOULD use my product or benefit from my company, I just look for people who are already looking for what we can offer. They are already open.

Hopefully this insight will translate into my personal relationships and I will someday find the emotional connection that will lead to a great relationship because values and attractions on my radar will match with that certain someone. But until then, I am clear that it isn’t so much about my disappointment as it is getting additional information to more accurately reflect what is really on another person’s radar. This helps.

Thanks for all you do,

Jodi