Comments on: The Triangle of Truth - Audio http://www.mike-robbins.com/blog/2010/01/the-triangle-of-truth-audio/ The Power of Appreciation Fri, 10 Sep 2010 01:39:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Vania Tashjian Frank http://www.mike-robbins.com/blog/2010/01/the-triangle-of-truth-audio/#comment-616 Vania Tashjian Frank Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:52:43 +0000 http://www.mike-robbins.com/blog/?p=212#comment-616 I too have mixed feelings about conflict. In theory, I believe that it can be a powerful tool for bringing people closer together and opening our minds, if we use it that way. For me, conflict can be scary when I don't know if the other person will use it in this way or whether they just want to play the one up game. One of the things I try to do is allow myself to feel all the emotions that arise, whether it's frustration, anger, guilt, etc. When I'm ready to move past the feelings, when I know that the anger is no longer serving me, I ask for guidance. I often ask "Please give me the strength to see my role in this. Please give me the courage and love to see what I'm not seeing." Usually within seconds (now that I've been doing this for years), I get the answer that will almost always help to bring resolution to the conflict I'm experiencing (particularly with my husband). Ultimately, it boils down to allowing myself to be vulnerable even when I am fearful. Telling him why I'm really truly upset or hurt or angry. It's often not with what's been done or said on the surface, but in what a particular event has triggered in me. Once I'm ready to explore the hurt or anger that has been triggered, the conversation between us becomes much more rich and deep, almost always bringing us closer together. Of course this is easier said than done. It takes constant mindfulness and commitment, which doesn't always come so naturally for me ;-) I too have mixed feelings about conflict. In theory, I believe that it can be a powerful tool for bringing people closer together and opening our minds, if we use it that way. For me, conflict can be scary when I don’t know if the other person will use it in this way or whether they just want to play the one up game.

One of the things I try to do is allow myself to feel all the emotions that arise, whether it’s frustration, anger, guilt, etc. When I’m ready to move past the feelings, when I know that the anger is no longer serving me, I ask for guidance. I often ask “Please give me the strength to see my role in this. Please give me the courage and love to see what I’m not seeing.” Usually within seconds (now that I’ve been doing this for years), I get the answer that will almost always help to bring resolution to the conflict I’m experiencing (particularly with my husband).

Ultimately, it boils down to allowing myself to be vulnerable even when I am fearful. Telling him why I’m really truly upset or hurt or angry. It’s often not with what’s been done or said on the surface, but in what a particular event has triggered in me. Once I’m ready to explore the hurt or anger that has been triggered, the conversation between us becomes much more rich and deep, almost always bringing us closer together.

Of course this is easier said than done. It takes constant mindfulness and commitment, which doesn’t always come so naturally for me ;-)

]]> By: Toni Earl http://www.mike-robbins.com/blog/2010/01/the-triangle-of-truth-audio/#comment-615 Toni Earl Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:49:58 +0000 http://www.mike-robbins.com/blog/?p=212#comment-615 This really hit home for me. I am a flight not fight person. If I do stay I don't like to get involved in the conflict but find myself trying to become the "peacemaker". I sometimes get physically ill(rapid heart beat, fast breathing) from conflict and find myself dissolved in tears. I will try to implement some of your techniques and see if I can become a better listener to the other persons point of view and underlying feelings about the issue. Then perhaps I can play a different role and learn from the problem not flee. This really hit home for me. I am a flight not fight person. If I do stay I don’t like to get involved in the conflict but find myself trying to become the “peacemaker”. I sometimes get physically ill(rapid heart beat, fast breathing) from conflict and find myself dissolved in tears. I will try to implement some of your techniques and see if I can become a better listener to the other persons point of view and underlying
feelings about the issue. Then perhaps I can play a different role and learn from the problem not flee.

]]> By: The Triangle of Truth | Mike Robbins' Blog http://www.mike-robbins.com/blog/2010/01/the-triangle-of-truth-audio/#comment-614 The Triangle of Truth | Mike Robbins' Blog Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:28:10 +0000 http://www.mike-robbins.com/blog/?p=212#comment-614 [...] The Triangle of Truth - Audio [...] […] The Triangle of Truth - Audio […]

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