Comments on: Trust is Granted Not Earned

By: Mike Robbins

Mike Robbins — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 18:10:23 +0000

Great posts, insights, shares, and questions! I always read what people post on my blog and appreciate the comments - when I can I reply directly to individuals, by email (since I get an email sent to me directly when each post is made) - but I may start posting more comments, feedback, and answers (to specific questions) right here on the blog. Thanks for your feedback!

By: DawnaLove

DawnaLove — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:34:22 +0000

I agree and understand trust to work in that way as well. It is something granted. I can still, initially feel a knee-jerk reaction to life, or others, in the form of resentment, anger, betrayal, etc. But really, those are all a matter of perspective, my perspective, which can change from day to day. The choice is mine. On this journey, I have also discovered that it is most important whether I trust myself first. It is of secondary importance, whether I trust others. That can be granted or withheld at will. Bottom line…I cultivate a trust that no matter what shows up, I am okay. It sometimes takes a minute for that truth to resurface, but gratefully, it always does.

By: Peny

Peny — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 16:49:27 +0000

Hi Mike,
Erika makes an interesting point. I find it pretty easy to trust until I am given reason not to trust. So what is appropriate when the person has proven that they are not trustworty?

It also makes me wonder if you actually read these posts and join in a conversation with those who post to you here.

By: Helga Prangl

Helga Prangl — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:59:05 +0000

Hi Mike, My great experience is, when I smile at even strangers or kids, I always get a smile back, that’s trust. I have experienced the deer at Lafayette reservoir come down to the road and look at people as so they knew you, trusting your presence and I always think if the rest of the world would be as trusing what a wounderful world it would be!
Helga Prangl

By: Erika

Erika — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 01:25:28 +0000

Mike, Today - at the very moment that I opened and read this issue on “trust” I am grappling with “trust” and relationship with a former business associate.

In my experience, this particular person does not deserve my trust, and I can’t bring myself to give it.

So, are there people in your life that you don’t grant trust? Or, are you suggesting that EVERYone gets your trust?
thanks, e

By: Austin Partridge

Austin Partridge — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 21:25:47 +0000

Hi Mike,

Thank you for your powerful and thoughtful insight into trust.

Your wisdom resonated with me, as I too have let myself disbelieve in people and as a result, put up walls to protect myself, which in contrast only separates me from what we all want: to connect.

Bless you brother for the great energy you are sending out into the world!

With gratitude,

Austin

By: Prem

Prem — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 21:17:12 +0000

Mike,
I have lived more of my life easily granting than withholding it. My life has been mostly joyful. I have had what was necessary and a lot more. Never, however, enough. For a long time I beat my head against a wall trying to get enough. The trying always failed. Much of the time I trusted that someone would provide what I would need and that happened. once I realized what was going on I relaxed and accepted. Now I am having a strong urge to offer to others and at the same time would like some material benefit from the offer. Energy feels different than what was 10-20 years ago but the blocks are still there. Waste time instead of doing something toward the goal. Never complete only start etc. Your article Reminde3d me of the gratitude I felt, to I know not what, once I realized how I have been supported by I know not what. It also brought to my awareness that for some few years now I have been somewhat less trusting and that I miss trusting.
Thank you
Prem

By: Rod Ford-Smith

Rod Ford-Smith — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 17:01:03 +0000

Mike,
Your article on trust being granted vs. earned caught my attention. It was written from the perspective of trusting other people.
I give a lot of personal career coaching (mostly unpaid)to unemployed professionals through Job Connections in Danville and one of their resources known as Success Teams-we currently have 32 teams with 6-8 members each.
The question is the reverse situation of your article–how do job seekers “obtain” the trust of the hiring manager in the short and medium term if they are not earning it? I doubt the hiring manager is going to start the interview with “OK, I am granting you trust for the next hour-tell me why you are the best qualified candidate and why I should hire you.” But let’s suppose you expected that and it happened. [Consider yourself lucky to have found a hiring manager who may be exhibiting some emotional and/or spiritual intelligence.] As an interview coach, my recommendation is to latch on to that and try to learn how prevalent that is in the corporate culture. If it sounds like his/her attitude is the norm in the company, then they are probably listed as one of the top employers where people their jobs.
As a coach, I’m willing to learn. If I’m not providing tips on how to earn the trust of the hiring manager, what preparation tips can be given to the job applicant to be granted trust by the hiring manager?
A lot comes to mind such as showing confidence, a warm smile, dressing for success, and filling the room with your positive attitude. The job applicant is the “seller” and has seconds or a very few minutes to set that first impression and then reinforce it as the interview goes on. Leading up to the interview, and during those first precious seconds and minutes, what suggestions do you have for shifting the tone of the interview in the applicant’s favor such that trust will be granted early on?

PS: As the saying goes “Do something. If it works, do more of it. If it doesn’t work, do something else.” What you do works for a lot of people and I encourage you to do more of it.

Rod Ford-Smith