With Valentine’s Day upon us – many people are stressed out, annoyed, or even depressed.  This “holiday,” which I actually to enjoy even though it was made up by the greeting card companies or something like that, is funny in that it tends to cause a lot of anxiety.  For those of us in love relationships – there is both pressure and expectation, which are often not met or dealt with in an effective way.  And, for people who are not currently in romantic relationships, it can be a sad, depressing, or even embarrassing time of year.

While I understand and have compassion for all of these feelings, and others, associated with Valentine’s Day, I do think it is time for many of us to get real, speak our truth, and grow up about the whole thing – regardless of our circumstance or situation.

For those people who are looking for a new relationship (whether you are optimistic about it or not), my friend and bestselling author Lisa Daily has just written a great new book called How to Date Like a Grown-Up: Everything You Need to Know to Get Out There, Get Lucky, or Even Get Married in Your 40s, 50s and Beyond.

This fun and informative book offers realistic, counterintuitive advice that will help you finally find the relationship you deserve, including: where and how to meet better men, 5 easy tips to chat up any stranger, what you may be doing to make yourself a magnet for losers, little-known secrets to dramatically improve your dating odds, and the one simple thing you can do in the bedroom to make a man speed up his marriage proposal.  (It’s not what you think!)

Lisa is funny, honest, and wise – you will enjoy this book!  And, when you purchase copies of How to Date Like a Grown-Up today (2/13/09) at Amazon.com (where it’s currently bargain-priced under $12) and email your receipt to swagbag@lisadaily.com, you will get loads of free bonus products…check it out: www.lisadaily.com/swagbag

Have a great day today and a wonderful Valentine’s.  Regardless of your situation, remember to appreciate and love yourself tomorrow and every day…that is truly the key to fulfillment in dating, relationships, and life!

With Appreciation,

Mike

www.Mike-Robbins.com

As someone who is very interested in current events, politics, sports, and more - I pay a lot of attention to the news (sometimes more than is probably healthy for me). I read newspapers, check the Internet, watch TV, and listen to the radio. With all of this news and information, I am often struck by how little of it is “good news,” especially these days.

While there is probably a certain amount of negative stuff that is important for us to know about, if we spend time checking in with most of the “mainstream” press, it’s easy to get the impression that life is really scary, negative, and that there are lots of terrible things are happening all over the place.

In recent months with all that is happening around the world and in our economy, there have been some genuinely negative things happening. These things do have real impact on real people – and on many of us personally. However, what about all the good news? There are literally billions of positive things happening all over the planet at this moment…most of them we will never hear about or know about. Think of how much good stuff goes unnoticed, unacknowledged, and un-communicated even in our own personal lives on a regular basis.

What has been happening in our country, our culture, and our world is a reflection of what is going on within each of us. We can get caught up in the “doom and gloom” of the moment, obsess about all of the issues and challenges facing us today, and allow the bad news coming at us from every angle get to us on a personal level…or we can choose something else.

While I am not advocating that we bury our heads in the sand, pretend everything is “fine,” and just ignore what’s happening…I do believe that now more than ever, we must be conscious about what we watch, read, and listen to. Nobody forces us to read the paper or the Internet, turn on the TV or radio, or get caught up in the mass hysteria of how “awful” things are. We each do that in our own personal way.

Here are a few things you can do to focus on more good news and not let the negative news get to you so much:

1) Limit the amount of news you consume. If you’re honest about it, you don’t need to watch, read, or listen to as much as you do in order to stay informed. If this is an issue for you, create a specific time limit per day and have others in your life support you and hold you accountable.

2) Choose news sources that you respect and at some level make you feel good. In other words, notice how you feel personally and emotionally when you watch a particular news show, listen to a someone on the radio, or read a newspaper, magazine, or website. If you notice that after watching, listening, or reading you don’t feel so good – maybe you can find another source for your news. This is about honoring yourself!

3) Seek out good news. Whether it’s in the media or in your life personally, now more than ever we must look for and find things to be grateful for, happy about, and excited about. There’s lots of good news out there; it’s up to us to find the good stuff and also to talk about it to others.

What are you doing or will you do to focus on more good news these days?
Share your thoughts on my blog here.

These three words, “yes we can,” became the manta for Barack Obama’s successful presidential campaign. Whether you voted for, support, or agree with President Obama or not, these three words are powerful and important for each of us in our lives, especially in the face of the challenges that many of us are facing these days.

When we believe in ourselves in an authentic way, we allow ourselves to trust that we can do whatever it is we desire and that no matter what our current circumstance may be, we always have the power within us to overcome, accomplish, or manifest anything. As Henry Ford famously stated, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

Being optimistic is and always will be a personal choice. And, it’s not always the easiest choice to make. Some of us are more predisposed to be negative, while others of us are more predisposed to be positive – based on a variety of factors (personality, beliefs, family background, environment, focus, and much more). However, all of us can practice and enhance our ability to be optimistic in our daily lives. It’s both a choice and a skill.

Being hopeful and positive doesn’t mean we avoid the challenges of our lives or pretend that there aren’t problems around us, it’s that we choose to focus on the good stuff, find what’s working, and trust that things will work out. This does take a certain amount of faith and it challenges us to let go of our need to control, explain, and understand everything at all times.

Here are a few simple things you can do to enhance your own ability to be optimistic in life:

1) Tell the truth – Admit to yourself and to others your own fear, worry, and negativity. While we don’t want to complain or dwell on things in a detrimental way, so often we deny or avoid our true negativity or pessimism, which keeps it stuck. When we admit it and own it, we have a chance to move through it and to let it go consciously.

2) Practice looking for the good stuff – This is an art and a skill that we can practice all the time. It can be challenging to find the good stuff in the midst of adversity, but that is the most important time to do it and the most valuable way to practice. The more you do it the easier it gets. This is all about us giving up our desire, need, and right to be a victim in life!

3) Surround yourself with authentically optimistic people – Choose to be around people who are genuinely positive and hopeful. This doesn’t mean that they’re happy all the time or always super upbeat (although they often will be, most likely). Seek out people who choose to appreciate life and to focus on what’s working. Doing this will not only be more fun and empowering for you, but it will also support you in your desire to be more optimistic in your own life.

Optimism is essential to our happiness, fulfillment, and our ability to overcome and persevere in life. It takes courage, boldness, and trust – things that as we all know are important, but not always easy in life. As you look at your own work, relationships, and life in general, where can you say “Yes I can?” and allow that statement to empower you in an optimistic way? The more we say “yes” to ourselves and to life, the more life and others say “yes” back to us.

I say to you, me, and everyone around us – YES WE CAN!

How will you enhance your ability to be optimistic in life? Share your thoughts on my blog here.

With Appreciation,
- Mike Robbins
www.Mike-Robbins.com  

With the new year just getting started, many of us are focused on our goals, intentions, and resolutions for 2009. While this is a wonderful and exciting aspect of every new year, one of the most important things we can focus on this year is appreciating ourselves – first!

If you’re anything like me and most of the people I know and work with, you probably have a tendency to be hard on yourself, or at least to think you have to achieve your goals or do something “good” in order to pat yourself on the back and appreciate yourself. What if we started with self appreciation, instead of waiting until we think we deserved it or had time to do it?

When we take a deeper look at most of our goals or intentions, for 2009 or in general, what we’re really after is a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment, and, most importantly, self appreciation. We think that if we achieve our goals, we’ll be happy and feel good about ourselves. However, as you may have noticed throughout your life – not only is this not true, it creates a great deal of stress for us in the process.

While I am a big advocate of creating healthy, empowering, and bold goals this new year and in our lives as we grow and evolve, what we have to remember is that without appreciating ourselves our goals are meaningless. And, when we do take the time to appreciate ourselves – regardless of what’s happening on the outside – three incredible things happen. First of all, we put ourselves in the best possible position for the fulfillment of our goals. Second, we give ourselves first what we’re going after ultimately – a positive sense of who we are and what’s valuable about us, right now. And third, we make ourselves available in a genuine way to be there for others and appreciate the people around us.

Here are a few suggestions for ways you can take care of yourself and appreciate who you are as we move into this new year.

Suggestions:

1) Create a regular self appreciation practice. Write in a journal, talk to a friend, meditate/pray, or do anything else that speaks to you with a specific focus on what you appreciate about yourself. Do this as often as possible – make it habit.

2) Schedule time for yourself. Regardless of how busy you are, how many people depend on you, and all the things you think “need” to get done – one of the most important things you can do to honor and appreciate yourself, is to take time just for you. It doesn’t matter what you do – read, take a bath, go for a walk, sit, participate in an activity you love, or anything else (as long as it is enjoyable to you and makes you feel good). The most important thing is for you to take time for just you.

3) Ask for support. One of the best ways we can honor and appreciate ourselves is to reach out and ask other people for support. For many of us, this can be scary and difficult. However, when we do it we allow others to be of service (which most people love), we remind ourselves that we are worthy of people’s support, and we remember that we are not alone. One of my favorite sayings is, “the answer is always ‘no’ if we don’t ask.”

I wish you the very best as you step into this new year. What a wonderful opportunity we each have to create 2009 to be a fun, growth-filled, exciting, and rewarding new year. If we put appreciating ourselves at the top of our list of intentions, we’ll set ourselves up for true success and real fulfillment.

How will you appreciate yourself in 2009?
Share your thoughts here.

With Appreciation,
-Mike Robbins
www.Mike-Robbins.com

With the holiday season now in full swing, it’s easy for us to get caught up in the stress of getting everything on our “list” crossed off, preparing for parties and events, and rushing around to buy gifts. And, with money tight for some this year, there’s added stress for many of us as we think about what to get for our family members, friends, co-workers, and others.

Instead of just giving “stuff” for the holidays, what if we gave the people in our life the best gift of all; our appreciation? Let the people around you know why you appreciate them. What do you value about your best friend? What is it about your kids that you really appreciate? What do you love most about your spouse? How does your co-worker or your boss make your job easier and more fun.

This year, our holiday gifts can be expressions of true appreciation which will have real impact on our relationships and make our holiday season one to remember. As we know, greater appreciation leads to improved communication, less stress, and more overall fulfillment.

And, with things the way they are financially for many people these days, taking time to appreciate others and life is so important this year.

Here are three simple suggestions to make your holiday gifts and your holiday season special:

Suggestions:

1) In addition to (or instead of) giving gifts, take time to write heartfelt thank you cards. Write cards letting the people around you know what you appreciate about them and how they have impacted your life in a positive way.

2) Ask people what they really want. Giving something specific that someone really wants will have them feel appreciated and valued. It doesn’t have to be expensive, as long as it’s personal to them. And, if you ask them directly you may find out that what they really want is something simple that can’t be bought or doesn’t cost money.

3) Give the gift of your time or service - Make a list of a few important people in your life and instead of buying them something, call and ask each them if there is some project they’ve been putting off or procrastinating that you might be able to help them with. Schedule time to come over to their house or support them specifically in getting that task or project accomplished.

Remember what most people want, more than anything else, is to know that they are loved, valued, and appreciated…that’s the best gift we can give to them – for the holidays and at any time of the year. Enjoy these next few weeks. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

How will you appreciate others during this holiday season? Share your thoughts here on my blog here.

With Appreciation,
- Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

If you’re anything like me you probably have somewhat of a love/hate relationship with the holidays. I love the excitement, parties, decorations, rituals, music, gifts, and more. However, even these things can wear on me. And, the stress, drama, consumption, obligation, and more that often come along with this time of year are not on my list of “favorite things.”

In addition, I often feel like I’m not doing enough, not on top of my “list,” and I worry that I won’t get everything done in time to make the people in my life happy the way I want to. Can you relate?

This year, especially with all that’s going on around us in the economy and the world, what if we each made a commitment to appreciate the holiday season, have fun, and enjoy the whole experience – regardless of our circumstances or any external pressure we may feel? Appreciating the holiday season, as with anything in life, will make it much more enjoyable and much less stressful.

Here are a few things we can remember this holiday season to make things more fun and less overwhelming.

1) Take Responsibility for Our Experience. It’s important that we each remember, myself included, that the stress we experience during the holiday season does not come from the holidays themselves, but from us. We’re always the creators of our own experience and the more we can remember this and live our lives from this perspective, the more empowered we are.

2) Remember We’re at Choice. We always have a choice about how we engage with anything. This holiday season we can choose to be annoyed by family members, obligations, forced work gatherings, crowds, or anything else. Or, we can choose to enjoy the magic and fun of this time of year.

3) Focus on What We Appreciate About the Holidays. Consciously choose to focus on the things that you appreciate about the holiday season the most. Tell the truth about this to yourself and to those around you. If at all possible, don’t participate in work or family gatherings out of obligation. But, regardless of where you are, what you do, or whom you are with – make a commitment to appreciate what’s happening, the people around you, and the many blessings in your life right now.

Even and especially when things are challenging, we always have so much to be grateful for. At this time of the year, we can take a step back, pat ourselves on the back, breathe deeply, and experience the gratitude we have for our lives, the people in it, and for ourselves. If not now, then when?

Enjoy these next few weeks…it’s up to you, as it always is. Happy Holidays!

How will you appreciate the holidays? Share your thoughts here.

With Appreciation,
Mike Robbins
www.Mike-Robbins.com  

Take advantage of a special holiday “Good Stuff” opportunity here.