First of all, to give someone honest feedback you must have a foundation of trust and appreciation in your relationship with them. It is also important to ask their permission and make sure it’s okay before you launch into your feedback.

With these things in place, our willingness to tell the truth to people is essential. Too often we wait until it is too late or we don’t say something because we are scared about how they might react. It’s easy to say nothing or to just “blow smoke.” However, it takes real courage to speak your truth to another person.

The key is your intention. If your intention is to make a difference for that person, “clear” something that might be in your way with them, or help them see something they may not be able to see - you are coming from a place that can empower and ultimately support that person. If your intention is to be superior, to show how wrong they are and how right you are, or some version of either of these two things - you are coming from your ego and your “truth” will most likely push you and this other person further apart.

I have recently been confronted with a number of situations like this in my life. In all honesty, I have handled some of them very poorly - either by not speaking up or doing so in a self-righteous and ineffective way. And, there have been a number of situations in which by me having the courage to speak up and say what was on my mind - something wonderful happened. Regardless of how I go about this, in the end it is almost always better for me to speak up than not. I learn more about myself, get closer to the other person, and grow in the process.

When someone speaks a “hard truth” to me, I know that have a tendency to push back and defend myself initially. Once that happens, I’m usually able to hear their feedback and learn from it. Most importantly, I always appreciate their willingness to say something and feel appreciated by their courage to do it.

Look at your relationships - especially the most important ones. Where are you not telling the truth, not giving feedback, or worried to say something honest? What would it take for you to be willing to tell them the truth? What are you afraid of? What would be possible in your relationship with them if you spoke up?

I challenge to you to pick a few important people in your life that you’ve been afraid to speak your truth to and just do it. Remember that speaking your truth (with appreciation and honesty) is a great gift for the people in your life and is one of the best ways you can acknowledge them and strengthen your relationship.

How will you speak the truth with appreciation and honesty? Share your thoughts, click here.

With Appreciation,
Mike Robbins
www.Mike-Robbins.com

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

My wife Michelle and I sat in our family room last night - along with our girls Samantha and Annarose and were moved to tears so many times as we watched the returns come in, saw the election called for Obama in such a powerful way, and then heard his remarkable and profound victory speech.

Like so many - I’m feeling a deep sense of gratitude, awe, excitement, pride, love, and shock…even though I had a feeling this would happen, right from the start.

Look what we all did! As Michelle and I sat at the convention center in Oakland, CA yesterday and called swing states (with hundreds of other people), it felt so good to be a part of something historic, special, and unifying. I looked around the room and saw the looks on people’s faces and felt the energy in the room…it made me proud to be an American and so grateful to be living at this time in our history.

Now the real work begins…we get to BE THE CHANGE we want to see, lean in, and actually participate. A new possibility is now opened up for all of us…it’s not about Barack, it’s about us. I’m excited, nervous, and humbled by what lies ahead for each of us and all of us. Amazing!

One of the many reasons I have been so inspired by Barack Obama is his ability to empower people. For example, here is part of the email that Barack sent out about thirty minutes after the election had been called for him:

“I’m about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first. We just made history. And I don’t want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign — every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it’s time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I’ll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing…

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack”

When I read this email (out loud) to Michelle and our friends Lara and Johnny, we all cried, felt inspired, felt appreciated, and felt as though we had played a role in this historic campaign and election. That is empowerment! If more and more of us are empowered to feel as though what we do and who we are matters to this country, we will be headed in such a wonderful direction.

If you happened to miss Obama’s incredible victory speech, here it is:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/27546437#27546437

Here we go…YES We CAN!

With Excitement, Passion, and Gratitude,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

We are so blessed in our country to have the right and the freedom to express ourselves and vote for the people and issues we care about. I consider voting to be a sacred act and one we can each do in a conscious, deliberate, and grateful way. If you’re not exactly sure where to go or need any information about voting in your area, click on this link: www.votesmart.org/index.htm

And, if you’re interested in reading about why I am voting for Barack Obama, click on this link.

Have a fantastic day! What an honor and blessing it is to live in the United States. I’m grateful for our right to vote.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

I’m very interested in politics as well as the state of our nation and world. In 2003 my wife Michelle and I got more pro-actively involved in the presidential campaign given our concern about the pending war in Iraq (at that time) and direction of the Bush administration and our country. We were fortunate enough to be at the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston, where we saw Barack Obama give the historic keynote address at that convention. Like so many others who saw that speech, we were moved to tears, blown away, and inspired in a way we had never been before. Over the past four plus years I have read both of his books, seen him speak live three more times, and met him in person (along with Michelle and our daughter Samantha in his DC office on 2/1/07 - see photo below), and paid attention to him in a way I have never paid attention to any political figure.

I have followed the campaign very closely and have literally heard him speak on TV, in interviews, and in debates hundreds if not thousands of times. I have read, watched, listened, discussed, debated, and more about Obama, the issues, and the other candidates - on both sides. As we sit here on the day of this historic and monumental election, I am convinced that not only is Barack Obama the best candidate in this race - but that he is a transformational Politian and man who can help heal, unify, and lead our nation into a new paradigm. Here are some of the reasons why I feel so strongly about him:

Change - Not just a slogan or a word on a poster, but I believe that what Obama stands for on the issues (foreign policy, the economy, health care, education, and more) and how he sees the country and the world is a fundamental change from the past and what we need at this time. Even more than his approach is what he has and will inspire in us and people around the world.

Peace - As a passionate advocate for Peace, I want to see not only the wars we are currently engaged in come to an end, which I believe Obama will make happen, but also an end to the mindset that got us into these wars to begin with, especially the war in Iraq - which is something he has said numerous times.

Equality - Related to race, economics, health care, jobs, the way government operates, and more - an Obama administration will bring about more equality and make things more fair in this country. “Equality,” like so many other ideals is not possible - but we can move closer to it in specific ways and with him as President, we will.

Awareness - Barack Obama is not only one of the smartest politicians I have ever witnessed, he is emotionally aware in a way that excites me, especially given my work and what’s important to me. Not only does he seem to have an awareness of himself, but also of others, of our country, and our world. His knowledge, insight, and awareness will help us move the conversations we have about life and politics to another level.

Empowerment - Watching how he has lived his life and specifically about how he has run this campaign - he understands what it means and why it’s important to empower people. As someone who has donated money and volunteered for his campaign - I personally feel empowered. We are at a time in our nation’s history where we NEED as many people as possible engaged in what is going on and also at a time where so many people feel disconnected from the process and their country. He has already in this campaign and will continue to empower those around him - in his administration, across the aisle, in his own party, other countries, and most importantly the America people - to be more than we all thought we could be.

Inspiration - Obama has been attacked in this campaign for being all about “rhetoric.” While I agree that to be a great President one must have more than just the ability to give a great speech, the power of words and more importantly of inspiration cannot be overlooked. For the first time in my life, I am deeply inspired by someone who could be our President. What if we could watch press conferences, speeches, the state of the union address, and others and actually be inspired, moved, and touched on a deep level. With him as President, we will, and with that inspiration so much positive change can and will happen.

Integrity - With all that I’m excited about and all that agree with (although I don’t agree with him on everything), I think what has drawn me and inspired me most about Barack Obama is who he is as a human being. I know he is not perfect and he has done and said things at times in this campaign that I have not agreed with, liked, and that were clearly not true. Like everyone else in his line of work, he is full of it some of the time. Understanding all of this, I am still blown away by his integrity and who he is as a man, husband, and father. I listen to him talk, read his words, and watch him operate and am so amazed by who he is. I love how he talks about and treats his wife, daughters, and family. I trust him and it feels so good. I’m sure he will make mistakes, lie, and at times let me and so many others down. However, the qualities he possesses and who he is as a human being are what I believe in my heart will allow him to not only get elected tonight, but to be one of our greatest Presidents of all time.

As long as this post is, I could go on and on! As you walk into the voting booth today, imagine what you will say to your children, grand children, and great grand children when they ask you if you voted for Barack Obama!

With Passion and Excitement,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

While I often aspire to be as open minded, accepting, and easy-going as possible, the truth is that I can get as easily offended as anyone I know. Many of my opinions about life, others, and “the way things should be” are incredibly self-righteous. Can you relate?

However, what if we became really hard to offend. This is not to say that we abandon our values or opinions, it’s more about choosing to allow other people and things be as they are. We take so many things personally that have nothing to do with us. The more we react to something, the less freedom and peace we have. When I get really “triggered” by someone or something, if I make it all about the other person or the thing I’m focusing on, I usually miss the real gift, the lesson, and the point (i.e. the shadow or mirror that this negative thing is showing me about myself and life).

Here are a few things we can do to become harder to offend:

1) Remember that it’s not all about you. Even though it may seem like someone is being rude to us or something is happening directly to us, most of the time the things we take personally or get offended by have little or nothing to do with us.

2) Have compassion for others. While we don’t have to simply allow people treat us poorly or let them walk all over us, if we can have compassion for them instead of assuming they’re out to get us, it makes life more peaceful all the way around. Often when other people act in a way we find “offensive,” they are having a difficult time themselves.

3) Right or happy, you choose? As my friend and mentor Richard Carlson used to say, “In life, you have a choice – you can be right or you can be happy, not both.” What a great reminder. When we’re obsessed, as many of us are (myself included), about being right all the time – we are easily offended. When we let go of our need to be right, we have the space to be happy, peaceful, and joyful.

Today and the rest of this week – I challenge you to be really hard to offend. See what happens, how it feels, and the impact it has on you and those around you. While it can be challenging at first, it will make a big difference in the quality of your life.

Share Your Thoughts / Feedback on this article here.

For some additional ideas and specific tips about how to become harder to offend, check out this week’s audio clip.

With Appreciation,
-Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

Have an inspired week!

Cheers,

Mike | www.Mike-Robbins.com

At this moment, even though it may be difficult, it’s important that we stay positive for the well being of our families, companies, relationships, communities, and especially for our own peace of mind. But, given all that has been going on recently, how can we stay positive genuine way?

While there’s no “quick fix” and we want to make sure we’re not avoiding what’s going on around us and within us, there are three things I believe we can do to help us stay positive in the mist of this current adversity, and adversity in general.

1) Be Honest – Whenever we’re facing challenges, obstacles, or “difficult” circumstances, it’s important for us to be honest about how we truly feel. The most common feelings that we experience at these times are anger, fear, and shame. We get angry that something “bad” has happened or because we feel powerless. We get scared that it may get worse or that other people or circumstances may continue to perpetuate the issue in a way we can’t control. And, we feel shame that maybe we did something “wrong” or could have done something to avoid the situation all together. These three emotions are ones we often don’t like to admit or express. However, like all emotions, when we acknowledge them, own them, and express them – they have a way of dissipating and in the process we can free ourselves from their negative impact.

2) Be Conscious – Pay attention to what you’re feeling, how you’re thinking, what you’re saying, and the actions you’re taking. Without judgment, see if you can be very aware of everything that is going on within you and how you’re reacting to what’s happening. In the midst of stress and adversity we have a tendency to think, say, and do things that don’t actually make things better and in many cases we make things worse. We complain, we worry, we speak negatively about life, others, and ourselves, we watch too much TV, we over eat, we drink too much, or we do various other things in an unconscious way that don’t serve us. The more conscious we can be about our feelings, thoughts, words, and actions – the more likely we are to stay positive and to move through the adversity in a way that we can actually learn and grow from, not just survive.

3) Be Grateful – Although it’s often counter-intuitive to be grateful in the face of adversity, it’s often the most important time for us to focus on what we appreciate – about ourselves, others, and life in general. Even and especially when things go “bad,” we’re often given an opportunity to take inventory of the good stuff in our life that we may not have been paying attention to as we were rushing our way through things. Take some time right now to think about some of the things you’re grateful for. Adversity can remind us that while things may be tough, we have so many blessings – health, a job, a place to live, people who love us, and much more. And, there are also many things we can appreciate about the difficulty itself – we may realize we’re stronger than we thought we were, we have more support around us than we knew, or we’re able to learn some important lessons about ourselves and life. There is always a lot for us to be grateful for, if we choose to pay attention. We can’t feel grateful and victimized at the same time!

Without trivializing the impact of current state of the economy or other things going on around you, it is possible for each of us to remain open, optimistic, and positive in the face of any and all adversity or uncertainty. This doesn’t mean we’re somehow super human or always happy. It does mean, however, that we choose to be honest, conscious, and grateful in the midst of what’s going on. And, if we choose to do so, we can have this be a time of reflection, rejuvenation, and transformation for us and those around us.

Be kind to yourself and see if you can be present in as many moments as possible. And, it’s important that we always remember, “this too, shall pass.

Share your thoughts and feedback on this article here.

With Appreciation,

Mike | www.Mike-Robbins.com