Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “Be Gentle with Yourself” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “Trust is Granted Not Earned” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

(For this week’s audio message, click here.)

How easily do you grant your trust to other people?  What factors play into your ability or inability to trust certain individuals around you?  What do people need to do to earn your trust?

As I personally reflect on these questions, I’m reminded of both the importance and complexity of trust in our lives, our work, and our relationships.  Trust is one of the most critical elements of healthy relationships, families, teams, organizations, and communities.  However, many of us have an odd or disempowered relationship to trust - we’ve been taught that people must earn our trust, when, in fact, it’s something we grant to others.

I learned early in my life that it wasn’t always safe to trust people - my folks split up when I was three, I went to tough schools and found myself in some difficult situations, and part of my “street-smart, survival kit” was to be very suspicious of just about everyone I came into contact with. While this did serve me to a certain degree as a child and adolescent (at least in terms of survival), as I got older I noticed that my resistance to trusting others created some real issues in my life and my relationships.

No matter how many “tests” I put people through in order to have them “earn” my trust, at the end of that whole process, it was ultimately up to me to grant them my trust (or not) - and then to continue to trust them (or not).

We each have our own internal process about trust - much of which is based on past, negative experiences.  In other words, we get burned, disappointed, or hurt in life and then decide, “I’m not doing that again” and we put up barriers around ourselves to keep us “safe.”

While this makes rational sense, it usually leaves us guarded, leery, and insecure - unable to easily create meaningful and fulfilling relationships with people.  The irony is that no matter how guarded we are, how thick the walls we put up, or what we do to try to keep ourselves from getting hurt and disappointed; it usually happens anyway.

One of my teachers said to me years ago, “Mike, you’re living as though you’re trying to survive life.  You have to remember, no one ever has.”

What if we granted our trust more easily?  What if we were willing to make ourselves vulnerable, to count on other people in a genuine and healthy way, and to expect the best from others authentically?  Michael Bernard Beckwith calls this being “consciously naïve,” which may seem a little oxymoronic on the surface, but at a much deeper level is very wise and profound concept.

Will be get hurt?  Yes!  Will we be let down?  Most certainly.  Will people violate our trust?  Of course.  However, this will happen anyway - it’s just part of life.  Ironically, the more we are willing to grant our trust consciously, the more likely we are to create a true sense of connection, cooperation, and collaboration in our lives, relationships, families, teams, and more - even if we feel scared to do so or it seems counter-intuitive at times.

We almost always get what we expect in life.  What if we start expecting people to be there for us, to do things that are trust-worthy, and to have our backs and our best interests in mind?  As with just about everything else in life, it’s a choice.  As Albert Einstein so brilliantly stated, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”

I choose “friendly,” how about you?

How easy is it for you to trust people?  Are you willing to start granting your trust more easily? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

(For this week’s audio message,  click here.)

How comfortable are you with being uncomfortable?  I know this may seem like a paradoxical question, but it’s not.  In fact, Michelle and I took a workshop this past weekend where they emphasized the importance of being uncomfortable - related to expanding our growth, success, fulfillment, and more.

Over the past few days I’ve been taking some real inventory of my own life and looking at how willing (or unwilling) I am to be uncomfortable myself.  I notice that in certain areas of my life, I’m quite willing to be uncomfortable; while in others, not so much.

There seems to be a direct relationship between my willingness to be uncomfortable and how much excitement, creativity, and abundance I experience in a particular area of my life (both now and in the past).  In other words, the more willing I am to be uncomfortable, the more I find myself growing, accomplishing, and transforming.  On the flip side, the less willing I am to be uncomfortable, the more stress, resignation, and suffering I experience.

Our egos are highly trained at keeping us “safe” and making sure we avoid any and all “risks.”  However, it’s difficult (if not impossible) for us to take our lives, our work, and our relationships to where we truly want them to be if we’re not willing to be uncomfortable in the process.

Being uncomfortable doesn’t necessarily mean that things have to be overly painful, dramatic, or challenging (although sometimes they will).  When we’re uncomfortable it’s usually because we’re doing or saying something new, we have something important at stake, or we’re taking an essential risk. These are all beautiful and critical aspects of life and growth.  Think of the most important areas of your life, your work, and your relationships - I bet there were and still are elements of these important things that are uncomfortable for you.

When we’re willing to be uncomfortable, we lean into our fear, try new things, and go for it in a bold and authentic way.  It doesn’t mean we know exactly what we’re doing (in many cases we won’t).  It also doesn’t mean we won’t fail (which, of course, we will at times).

We all have the capacity to be uncomfortable - we’ve been doing it our entire life (learning to walk, talk, ride a bike, drive a car, do our work, and so much more).  However, instead of trying to “survive” the uncomfortable aspects of life - what if we embraced them, acknowledged ourselves for our willingness, and even sought out new, unique, and growth-inducing ways to make ourselves uncomfortable consciously?

Here are a few things you can think about and do to enhance your own willingness to be uncomfortable.

1)  Take inventory of your life. Where are you willing to be uncomfortable and where are you not?  The more honest you can be with yourself about your own willingness (or lack thereof), the more able you’ll be to make some important adjustments and changes.  Be authentic and compassionate with yourself as you make this inquiry.

2)  Identify your fears. There is always a specific fear (or a set of fears) that exists underneath all of our resistance.  When we’re not willing to be uncomfortable, it’s usually because we’re scared.  If we can admit, own, and express our fears in an honest and vulnerable way, we can liberate ourselves from their negative grip.

3)  Create support and accountability around you. The best way I know of to challenge ourselves and step out of our comfort zone, is to elicit the support of others and make sure we get them to hold us accountable.  There may be important things for you to do - that you know will take your life, work, and relationships to the next level - but they seem intimidating (i.e. uncomfortable).  Getting people you trust and respect to help you, coach you, and push you is one of the best ways to make it happen - even and especially if you’re not sure how, or worried you can’t do it.

Being uncomfortable is, well, uncomfortable.  But, it’s one of the most important things for us to embrace if we want to live a life of real meaning, purpose, and passion.

How willing are you to be uncomfortable?  What can you do right now to consciously step into being uncomfortable for the purpose of your growth, expansion, and fulfillment?  Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “Are You Willing to Be Uncomfortable?” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

(For this week’s audio message, click here.)

I recently saw a wonderful video on YouTube that has been making its way around the internet of a little girl passionately affirming herself and her life in the bathroom mirror (“My whole house is great, I like my hair, I can do anything, I like my family,” etc.) If you haven’t had a chance to see it, check it out – it’s adorable, funny, and a beautiful example of appreciation in action.

I showed it to my four year old daughter Samantha (who is close to the same age as the girl in the video).  Samantha loved it and asked me if she could do the same thing herself.  She ran into the bathroom, got up on the counter, and began to do her own affirmations in the mirror.  It was beautiful, hilarious, and quite heartwarming to see her cheering about herself and her life in such a positive and passionate way.

Not only was Samantha excited about doing this, there was no shame, guilt, or embarrassment on her part as she did it.  Her baby sister, Rosie (who is almost two now), is a big fan of laughing, smiling, and kissing herself in the full length mirror we have in our bedroom.  So cute!  I’m amazed and inspired by how many little ones seem to have an innate sense of appreciation for themselves, as if it’s hardwired into them at birth.

Sadly, this high regard many of us have for ourselves and our lives as babies, toddlers, and even little kids, is often “trained” out of us as we learn the ways of the “real” world.  Directly and indirectly we hear and see things that lead us to believe that we are not good enough, need to be fixed, and are fundamentally flawed.  We also learn early on that it’s not cool, socially acceptable, or even appropriate to act, think, or speak about ourselves in ways that may be perceived as overly positive or downright arrogant.

Even for those of us, like me and most of you reading this article, who understand the importance of self appreciation and self love, the act of expressing and experiencing love for ourselves can be tricky.  Once we get over the negative stigma or our fear of being judged (which is often an ongoing process), we then have to deal with our own obsession with criticizing ourselves, as well as the fact that we may not actually know how to love and appreciate ourselves in an authentic way.

However, when we truly love ourselves, most of what we worry about and even much of what we strive for in life becomes meaningless. We may still have some worries, and we’ll definitely continue to have goals, dreams and desires. However, from a place of true self appreciation and self love, the fear behind our worries and the motivation for our goals dramatically changes from something we have to avoid or produce in order to be accepted and valued to something we’re genuinely concerned about or really want to accomplish.

In other words, when we wait for other people, the accomplishment of specific goals, or the manifestation of ideal circumstances to create the excitement, joy, and inspiration for our lives - we give away our personal power and live in an insatiable way.  Cheering for ourselves with passion, and with a true sense of love and appreciation is not arrogant, it’s actually required if we’re going to live a life of fulfillment, gratitude, and meaning.

Arrogance is based on fear and insecurity.  Whenever I catch myself doing or saying anything arrogant (which I do on a pretty regular basis), it’s because I’m feeling insecure, wanting someone to like me or be impressed with me, or trying to compensate for some perceived “lack” within or about myself.  There’s nothing “evil” about us being arrogant, it’s just not all that much fun for us or others - and living our life from a place of arrogance can cause a great deal of pain, suffering, and hurt for ourselves and those around us.

Authentic self appreciation is about loving, valuing, and honoring ourselves, our gifts, and all of who we are - both light and dark.  The words, thoughts, and feelings may seem similar to arrogance, however, they’re not.  Energetically, self appreciation comes from a very different place within us than arrogance does.  The more we practice loving and appreciating ourselves, the easier it is for us to tell the difference.

Here is a list of some things you can do to practice loving, appreciating, and cheering for yourself in an authentic and powerful way:

• Speak about yourself positively
• When someone compliments you - breathe, let it in, and say “thank you” (don’t discount it)
• Say affirmations to yourself in the mirror, and use your first name (i.e. “I love you, Mike”)
• Write down things you appreciate about yourself in your journal on a regular basis
• Send yourself an email or card of appreciation - from you, to you
• Buy yourself flowers or some token of appreciation that makes you feel good
• Ask for the acknowledgment you’d like
• Make requests of others (remember that you don’t have to do it all yourself)
• Take time for yourself and by yourself
• Celebrate your successes (big and small) and pat yourself on the back regularly

Many of the things on this list fall into the category of “simple but not easy” for most of us.  And, there are clearly many more things each of us can do and practice as we enhance our capacity for self love and appreciation.  The key is our intention, not what we do specifically.

If we start to think of ourselves as our most important ally, friend, and, ultimately, cheerleader, we can alter our own internal relationship and begin to count on ourselves in new, inspiring, and important ways.

Being our own cheerleader is not about bragging, boasting, or being better than anyone else - it’s about honoring, appreciating, and loving ourselves in a real way.  On this journey of life we are with ourselves in every moment - the more capacity we have to love ourselves, the more ability we have in turn to love others and share our gifts with the world.

What can you do to be your own cheerleader in your life right now?  What do you appreciate and love about yourself?  Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog below.

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “Be Your Own Cheerleader.” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “Be Flexible.” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com

(For this week’s audio message, click here.)

How flexible are you?  For me, it depends - on my mood, how much fear or resistance I have about something, how attached I am to a particular outcome, and various other factors.

However, as I look throughout my life (now and in the past), I realize that the situations, relationships, and experiences that cause me the greatest stress and frustration, are almost always the places where I’m not being flexible.  And, on the flip side, the more flexible I am - the more peace, ease, and fulfillment become available.

Today, more than ever, we are challenged to be flexible - in our work, our relationships, and in every other important aspect of our lives.  However, due to our own fear, arrogance, resistance, stress, and obsession with being right, we often end up being inflexible to our own detriment and to the frustration of those around us (or so I’ve been told).

Being flexible is not about being weak, wimpy, or passive.  Flexibility is a conscious choice, a powerful skill, and a valuable approach to the ever-changing, always-evolving world we live in.  We can be firm in our convictions, passionate about our beliefs, and clear about our intentions, and at the same time be flexible enough to make significant changes and be open to new ideas along the way.

Here are some key elements to expanding your own capacity for flexibility in your life - which will lead you to greater peace, joy, and fulfillment:

1)  Let Go of Your Attachment - Whenever we get attached to something - a specific outcome, a particular way of doing things, a rigid opinion, etc. - we are, by definition, inflexible.  Letting go of our attachment to something doesn’t mean we negate our desire or intention, it simply means we let go of controlling every aspect of it, forcing the action, and our fixation on it being exactly the way we think it should be.  This is a process of conscious “non-attachment” (letting go), as opposed to detachment (not caring).

2)  Be Willing to Be Wrong - Most of us love to be right and will do and say just about anything to avoid being wrong.  Our obsession with “rightness” and fear of “wrongness” often gets in the way of going for what we want, saying what’s on our mind, and letting go of our fixed ideas about how things are supposed to be.  When we’re willing to be wrong (not necessarily interested in or intending to be wrong), we free ourselves up and give ourselves permission to take risks, try new things, and approach things (even really important things) with a creative, innovative, and flexible perspective.

3)  Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously - Taking ourselves too seriously (something which I know a thing or two about), creates unnecessary stress, pressure, and worry.  When we’re able to laugh at ourselves (in a kind way), keep things in perspective, and remember that most of what we deal with on a daily basis in life is not life or death - we can take ourselves less seriously and thus have a more balanced, peaceful, and creative way of relating to things.

4)  Go with the Flow - If we pay attention to life, there is a natural flow that exists (although it may not always look like it or feel like it).  The more we’re able to tap into the natural flow of life, trust ourselves and others, and believe that things will work out - the more likely we are to allow things to roll off our backs and manifest with ease.  As Esther Hicks says, “Most people are rowing against the current of life.  Instead of turning the boat around, all they need to do is let go of the oars.”

5)  Get Support and Feedback From Others - The support and feedback of others is invaluable in so many aspects of our life and growth, especially as it relates to us being more flexible.  We can learn from and model others who are more flexible than we are.  We can also give people in our life permission to remind us (with kindness) when we get rigid, uptight, over-attached, and start taking ourselves too seriously.

Being flexible is something that’s often easier said than done for many of us.  However, just as with our physical bodies, the more attention we place on expanding our flexibility the more likely we are to do it.  As we enhance our ability to be flexible, our life can and will expand exponentially.

How can you practice being more flexible in your life right now? Share your thoughts, examples, insights, and more on my blog below.

Here’s a link to this week’s audio tip entitled “Appreciate the Simple Things.” Click on this link to hear this week’s message (make sure your sound is on or you plug in your head phones to your computer). Enjoy!

To download this audio as an MP3 file, right click here and select “Save Target As” to begin download.

With Appreciation,

Mike
www.Mike-Robbins.com