January 27, 2011

In This Issue
Featured Article: It's Okay to Ask for Help
Recommended Resources
Daddy's Little Girls



Hey there - I hope you are doing well and having a great week.

Last week's article, "The Importance of Flexibility," got some nice feedback.  If you'd like to re-read that piece, feel free to check it out on my blog.  You can also read it on Intent.com.  And, if you'd like to listen to the audio podcast from last week, click here.

Have a great day and rest of your week.  Thanks for being on my list!

With Gratitude,



P.S.  I've been getting more active on Twitter and Facebook recently (sharing thoughts, ideas, updates, events, quotes, resources, and more).  If you'd like to follow me on Twitter, click here and on Facebook, click here.



It's Okay to Ask for Help

(For this week's audio podcast, click here.)

How do you feel about asking other people for help?

I've noticed that many of us, myself included, get a little funny about requesting support.  While we're all different and we each have our own unique perspective, reaction, and process as it relates to reaching out to others, it seems that this can be quite a tricky exercise for most of the people I know and work with.

I have somewhat of a bi-polar relationship to asking for help myself.  I can definitely be a "lone ranger" at times and often, especially when I feel stressed or pressured, try to do everything myself - either because I feel insecure about asking for support or because I self righteously think that I'm the only one who can do it the "right" way.  On the other hand, I can sometimes be quite pushy, forceful, and presumptuous with my requests (aka demands) of support (or so I've been told).  Ah, to be human!

However, as I've also experienced personally and seen in others many times throughout my life and in my work, there is a beautiful place of balance between going it all alone and demanding help from others in an obnoxious way.  This all stems from our ability to genuinely ask for and graciously receive the support of other people.  The irony of this whole phenomenon is that most of us love to help others, while many of us have a hard time asking others for help ourselves.

Requesting support can often make us feel vulnerable.  We usually think (somewhat erroneously) that we should be able to do everything ourselves or that by admitting we need help, we are somehow being weak.  In addition, many of us are sensitive about being told "no" and by asking others to help us we put ourselves out there and risk being rejected.

What if we had more freedom to ask for what we wanted and for specific support from other people? What if we could make requests in a confident, humble, and empowering way? What if we remembered that we are worthy of other people's help and that our ability to both ask for and receive it not only supports us, but also gives them an opportunity to contribute (which most people really want to do).

It still might be a little scary, we may get our feelings hurt from time to time, and on occasion people may have some opinions or reactions to what we ask for or how we do so. But, when we give ourselves permission and remind ourselves that it's not only okay, but essential for us to ask for help - we can create a true sense of support and empowerment in our lives and in our relationships!

Here are a few things we can do to have more freedom and confidence when asking for help.

1)  Make Genuine Requests, without Attachment.  A "genuine" request can be accepted or declined, without any consequence.  In other words, if we get really upset when someone says "no" to us, not only were we attached to the outcome, it probably wasn't a real request to begin with (it was a demand).  When we ask for what we want, without being attached to the response, we have more freedom to ask and ultimately our chances of getting what we want are greatly increased.

2)  Be Easy To Support.   There are some specific things we can do to make it easier to support us.  Such as:

• Be open to the coaching and feedback of others
• Thank people for their support
• Let people do things to support us in their own unique way instead of micro-managing them (this one is often tough for me)
• Allow people's support when it is offered

3)  Give Your Support to Others Generously.  When we put our attention on supporting other people, the universe has a way of returning the favor.  It may or may not always come back to us from the people we help specifically, and that's okay.  We want to do our best not to "keep score," as many of us often do, but instead to look for opportunities to genuinely help those around us.  When we do this, we remind ourselves of the power of support and we experience it as the true "win-win" it is.

How can you start asking for and allowing the support of others?  Where in your life do you really want support from other people right now? Share your thoughts, ideas, insights, actions, and more on my blog here.

To listen to this week's audio podcast, including additional thoughts, ideas, and tips, click here.

Landmark Education

Twelve years ago I did a three-day seminar called the Landmark Forum, and it had a dramatic and positive impact on my life.  Of all the workshops and courses I've taken in my life, this one probably had the most positive influence on me.  Over the next four or five years, I took just about every course and workshop offered by Landmark Education and loved it.  My wife Michelle and I actually met while taking courses at Landmark.  The things I learned and the training I got through Landmark Education gave me many of the tools as well as the confidence I needed to start my business ten years ago.  Recently Michelle and I "reviewed" (re-took) the Landmark Forum and it was remarkable for both of us.  The courses and workshops offered by Landmark Education are some of the best out there - and are designed to empower and enable you to create freedom and fulfillment in all the important areas of your life.  I highly recommend Landmark Education!  If you're ready to take your work, your relationships, and your life to a whole new level, check out what they have to offer by clicking here.

A Tribute to Richard Carlson

One of the most amazing human beings I ever had the honor of knowing was Richard Carlson.  Richard and I initially met in 1998 after I read his beautiful, bestselling book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.  We became good friends and he became my mentor. He was like an older brother to me and his love, generosity, and guidance had a profound impact on my life and my work. I learned so many things about life, family, fatherhood, and teaching from Richard - both by what he taught me directly, and by witnessing his powerful example. Sadly, in late 2006, Richard passed away very suddenly. With his passing, the world lost an inspiring teacher and a beautiful soul. And, those of us who knew him well, lost a dear friend and a model for living a life of peace, kindness, and love. Richard's work lives on through his many books and also through his wife, Kris Carlson, who has written two books in the past four years since Richard’s passing. Kris has beautifully carried on Richard's message and has vulnerably shared the power of their love and the journey of her grief through her extraordinary books. She recently created this wonderful tribute video about Richard's life and work, their relationship, and the powerful work she is currently doing. To view this video, click on this link.