August 25, 2009
In This Issue
Featured Article: Let's Get Real About Money
Announcements
Speaking Schedule
Daddy's Little Girls
Welcome to this week’s issue of Appreciation (and Authenticity) in Action.
I hope you and those around you are doing well. This week’s article and audio are about one of the most emotionally charged issues we face, especially today...money! This is a big one for me and so many people I know.
And, on a different note, this past weekend we celebrated Rosie’s first birthday! It was so much fun and she is such a blessing in our lives and our community.
Thanks for being on my e-zine list. I’m honored to connect with you like this each week. Have a good one!
With Gratitude,
Let's Get Real about Money
(For this week’s audio message, click here.)
How much money do you make? How much debt do you have? How much money do you spend each month? How much money do you have saved? How do you feel about money in general and yourself in terms of your financial situation?
These questions, and others like them, are about as personal and intimate as almost any questions we can ask ourselves and each other. Money is one of the most emotionally charged issues in our lives, especially these days. Because of our feelings of shame, guilt, confusion, judgment, fear, and more about money - we often don't ask or answer these questions in an honest way. Our inability or lack of comfort with this type of authentic discussion about money is one of the biggest reasons money continues to be such an area of stress, struggle, and confusion for so many of us.
I’ve struggled with money for much of my life – both not having money (growing up poor) and also not really understanding how it works, how to plan/spend/save in a conscious way, or how to attract it into my life. Over the past few years as I’ve begun to learn a little bit about money and also manifest a bit more of it in my life, my feelings have not really changed all that much. For example, instead of feeling ashamed of not having much money, I’ve simply shifted to feeling ashamed of not saving better or spending more wisely (and then assuming something was really wrong with me because even with more money coming in, we didn’t seem to be making that much financial progress).
As our financial circumstances change, how we relate to money often doesn’t change on its own, unless we intervene in a conscious way. And, as many of us have been impacted by the current recession, it may be shining a light on some of the unhealthy, unconscious, and negative patterns we have about money – both specific and emotional. My wife Michelle and I have been humbled this year by our decrease in revenue and the impact it has had on us, both financially and emotionally (as have so many people I’ve talked to about it). Yet, at the same time – we’re finding ourselves eternally grateful for the wake-up call and the increased awareness this has brought about for us – both in terms of money and with life in general.
This “financial sobriety” that many of us are going through, whether we wanted to or not, can be such a blessing in our lives if we’re willing to really embrace it, tell the truth about it, and use it as an opportunity to grow, learn, and transform. However, in order to do this we’re going to have to GET REAL about it. Getting real about how we feel about money and, more specifically, about our specific financial situation is challenging for many of us. We often spend and waste so much time and energy in judgment (of ourselves and others) about money; the thought of being vulnerable and transparent about it is something most of us choose not to do.
What if we did actually tell the truth about money – in detail, with specifics, and in an honest way? While doing this may seem scary on the surface, think of how liberating it would be, how much stress it could reduce, and how much genuine support we could receive ourselves or provide for others if we did.
Here are a few things you can do to challenge yourself to get more real about money, and in the process liberate yourself with more freedom, less stress, and increased peace about your finances and your life.
1) Tell the truth about how you feel about money. How obsessed are you with money? How much of your self-worth comes from your net worth (or lack thereof)? Do you avoid your finances, judge yourself and others about money, or pretend money isn’t really all that important (when in truth it is for you)? See if you can be honest about your own personal relationship to money. You may feel great and very peaceful about money (although I don’t know too many people who do). You may have a lot of fear, stress, shame, guilt, confusion, or anger about money. As with everything else in life, “the truth will set you free.” The more honest you are about your own relationship to money, the more freedom you’ll have.
2) Share the specifics of your financial situation with others. This one is BIG and for many of us, and quite scary. First, you have to confront that fact that you may not actually know the specifics of your finances (how much you make, how much you spend, how much debt or savings you have, etc.) When it comes to our money, “knowledge is power.” If we’re not clear about the details of our finances, it makes it difficult, if not impossible, to change them. Once we do know, being able to share our financial details with others, even if we feel a sense of fear, shame, guilt, or anything else about them, can be incredibly liberating and empowering. It takes a lot of energy to lie and pretend we have things all together when we don’t. When we share our finances with other people, we have the ability to be free about it, as well as get some valuable feedback and support.
3) Ask for support and give it to others. Being able to ask basic (or advanced) questions, reach out for help, and lean on others is so important in all aspects of life, especially with our finances. However, because of our emotional charge with money specifically, this is one of those areas we tend not to reach out to others about. It’s counter-productive for us to try to figure it out all by ourselves, especially if money is something we struggle with personally. And, regardless of how financially “successful” or knowledgeable we consider ourselves, we can always support and encourage those around us...even if it’s simply listening to them or being someone who they feel safe enough to share with about this vulnerable subject. We don’t have to do this all alone!
Have as much empathy and compassion for yourself and other people as possible when it comes to money. This one is such a big deal for so many of us, especially in today’s environment and climate. Being honest and vulnerable about money one of the best things we can do, not only right now during this recession, but as we move forward – to deepen our capacities for authenticity, abundance, and fulfillment in life!
How do you relate to money? Are you willing to talk about your financial situation in detail with others? What type of support would you love to have in your life in regards to money? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog here.
For this week’s audio message (including additional tips and suggestions) – click here.
Some Great Books I Recommend
1) Paving it Forward, by Elisabeth Fayt
In her new book, Paving It Forward: Turn Your Wish List into Your Reality List, Elisabeth Fayt teaches you a powerful Law of Attraction technique for creating Abundance. Paving It Forward will leave you with a practical formula for achieving success despite any outward environment or economy. Learn how you can “Pre-Pave” your life in business, in family, in love and in following your dreams. Break through age-long negative habits and become a powerful, conscious creator of your life. For more information about this great new book and to learn how you can receive loads of bonus gifts (from authors like me) when you purchase copies of it today, click here.
2) Truth Heals, by Deborah King
Deborah King’s book, Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You is a fascinating read--a combination of juicy personal memoir, fun celebrity examples, and solid information that connects the dots between your emotions and your health and happiness. It answers the question, How can the truth change your life? and probes the powerful impact of the naked unadulterated truth on the emotional and physical issues you encounter every day. Truth Heals will show you where truth lies inside you and how to access it; connect any physical problem you are having to the appropriate energy behind it so it can be released and healed; and give you an understanding of why it’s so important to acknowledge and release any hidden pain. It’s a quick, easy read, packed with helpful tools to make your life better. Order your copy today and claim your free gifts from Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, me, and many others...and you can enter to win a free Amazon Kindle DX and more. Click here.
Focus on the Good Stuff Turns Two:
It’s hard for me to believe, but my first book, Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation (Hardcover, Jossey-Bass/Wiley), came out two years ago yesterday, August 24, 2007. In some ways it seems like it was just last week, and in other ways it seems like a lifetime ago. Either way, I am so grateful and honored to have been given the opportunity to write and publish that book. The feedback I’ve received, the success of the book, and the doors it has opened for me all have been humbling and exciting. Thank you for your support of me, my work, and specifically of this book. Click on this link for more info about Focus on the Good Stuff.
Connect with me on Facebook and Twitter
If you’d like to connect with me on Facebook or Twitter, click one or both of these links:
Where I’m Speaking:
Below is a list of where and when I’m speaking for the next few months. Most of these events are for my corporate or organizational clients (i.e. not open to the public). The ones in bold, however, are public events. I hope to see you at one of these!
For all my upcoming public events, check out this link. And, if you live in any of the cities where I’ll be traveling and want to contact me about setting up a speaking engagement for your group or company while I’m in town, feel free to contact me.
8/28/09 – Walnut Creek, CA
8/30/09 – San Diego, CA
9/1/09 - San Francisco, CA
9/3/09 – San Rafael, CA (Café Gratitude)
9/8/09 – Lafayette, CA
9/10/09 – Concord, CA
9/12/09 – Petaluma, CA (ABWA Event)
9/13/09 – Walnut Creek, CA (Unity Center)
9/15/09 – Bozeman, MT
9/22/09 – Salt Lake City, UT
9/26/09 – Kansas City, MO
9/29/09 – Walnut Creek, CA
10/5/09 – Hayward, CA
10/7/09 – San Jose, CA (SVCC)
10/9/09 – Palo Alto, CA (eWomen Network)
10/15/09 – Phoenix, AZ
10/16/09 – Tempe, AZ (Changing Hands Bookstore)
10/18/09 – Scottsdale, AZ (IONS)
Again, for a full list of my upcoming public events, check out: http://www.beyourselfbook.com/events.htm.
“We’re looking forward to learning about money and
being honest about it in our lives.”
- Samantha and Annarose Robbins
To see more photos of us and
our mommy and daddy, click here.
