July 29, 2010

In This Issue

Featured Article: The Power of Getting Real

Announcements

Daddy's Little Girls

How's it going for you this week?  I hope life is good for you and those around you...always so much for us to be grateful for!

Last week's article, "Stop Apologizing For Who You Are," got quite a bit of thoughtful feedback - feel free to re-read the piece and the feedback on my blog or on The Huffington Post.

Also, my article "Trust is Granted, Not Earned" was just re-published on Oprah.com.  Check it out if you'd like, and feel free to post a comment on Oprah's site about it!

Have a great day.  Thanks for being on my list!

With Appreciation,



P.S.  I hope you've had a chance to catch one of the first two episodes of the new show "If You Really Knew Me" on MTV (Tuesdays at 11 PM).  If not, I think you'll enjoy and appreciate it.  The show is quite heart-opening and inspiring.



The Power of Getting Real

(For this week's audio message, click here.)

A few weeks ago my wife Michelle and I found out, surprisingly, that we were expecting our third child.  Since this wasn’t something we'd planned, we were shocked, excited and a bit freaked out, all at the same time.  We began telling lots of people about this big news and starting to imagine our life with another baby - which was both thrilling and overwhelming for us to contemplate.

Within just a few days of learning about the pregnancy, however, we had a miscarriage - something we'd never been through and weren't quite prepared for.  The range of emotions we experienced during that week, and in the weeks that followed, has been quite intense.

As jarring, painful, and somewhat surreal as it has been, Michelle and I both feel a deep sense of peace and gratitude - choosing to believe that this happened for a reason and doing our best to use this experience to deepen our own awareness and healing in life.  While it has been difficult, it has also been a very rich time of growth and connection for us on many levels.

One of the most complicated aspects of this experience has been sharing it with others - which we have been somewhat forced to do given that we told a lot of people about the pregnancy.  Many people don't talk about their pregnancies until the second trimester, since the majority of miscarriages take place in those first three months.  I understand, even more so now, why people keep this private - as talking about a miscarriage can be quite emotional and uncomfortable for everyone involved. 

However, even though this has been an intense process for us and many of the people we've talked to about it (especially those who have gone through this personally), Michelle and I have been so grateful for the amazing love and support we've received. We've also been blown away by how many other people have experienced a miscarriage - some we knew about, but many we didn't.

Even in the midst of this personal and emotional experience, I've also been fascinated by human phenomenon of authenticity at play.  There is such power, freedom, and liberation available for us when we get real.  And while I do believe that it's important for each of us to make conscious choices about what we share and with whom, far too often I think we choose not to share certain thoughts, feelings, or experiences because we deem them to be "inappropriate" or "too much" for people to handle.

Sadly, in this process of withholding our true experiences and feelings, we miss out on opportunities to connect with people in an authentic way, get support, share love, wisdom, and empathy, and connect in a real way with everyone around us.

Carl Jung said, "We're only as sick as our secrets." And, Mother Teresa said, "Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable." Then she said, "Be honest and transparent anyway."

How We Can Get Real in a Vulnerable Way

One of the best ways to access a deeper sense of authenticity, vulnerability, and transparency is through a powerful exercise called "If you really knew me."  This exercise, which has had a profound impact on my own life and is something I've facilitated in various forms with many of the groups and individuals I've spoken to or coached over the years, gives people an opportunity to get real and vulnerable.

The exercise was taught to me by my friends and mentors, Rich and Yvonne Dutra-St. John, founders of an incredible organization called Challenge Day, which delivers life-altering, experiential, personal development workshops for teens, schools, and people of all ages.  Challenge Day's high school program is featured in the new MTV reality series which is actually called If You Really Knew Me.

How the exercise works is that each person in the group - usually a smallish group of anywhere from four to eight people (although it can be done one on one or with a larger group) - gets a minute or two of undivided attention from everyone else in the group and repeats this sentence, "If you really knew me, you'd know..." and then completes the sentence by sharing things that are real, vulnerable, and below the surface about themselves (thoughts, feelings, dreams, insecurities, opinions, experiences, passions, challenges, etc.). 

There's no pressure or expectation on each person to share anything they don't want to share - just a challenge to step outside of their comfort zone, choose to trust the people in the group, and be more open, real, and vulnerable than they may normally be with others.

Whenever I either participate in or facilitate this exercise (as I just did earlier this week during a program I delivered), I'm always amazed by its power.  People laugh, cry, get real, let go of things they've been holding onto, and truly connect with each other - heart to heart and in an authentic way.

What I always get from this exercise myself and hear people say in different ways is that even though we're all unique, we're way more alike than we are different.  When we have the courage to get real with each other and speak our truth, it's one of the most meaningful, rewarding, and connecting experiences we can have with other human beings.

Michelle and I have experienced the power and importance of getting real in these past few weeks.  Even though we weren't prepared for this, didn't see it coming, and weren't planning to share it with lots of people - it has been life-altering in so many ways and has taken a difficult, painful, and somewhat unexplainable situation, and turned it into something that is allowing us to grow, deepen, and experience more joy and gratitude in our lives.

When we get real (first with ourselves and then with others), even if it's scary, uncomfortable, awkward, or intense, it has the potential to liberate us, impact those around us, and bring us all together in a beautiful and genuine way.  We don't have to go through whatever we're going through in life alone - there is more love, support, and care around each of us than we usually realize and when we're willing to be real about our experience, let people know what's truly going on for us, and ask for help when we need it - it's remarkable what happens!

What are you holding onto that you're ready to reveal and release?  If people really knew you, what would they know about you?  Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog here.

To listen to this week's audio message, including additional thoughts, ideas, and tips, click here.




Life, Love, and Relationships - Teleseminar Series

I'm excited to be a part of a new teleseminar series starting next week called Life, Love & Relationships.  This series has been put together by Anne Pustil - a therapist and coach, who works with individuals and couples to become more powerful and fulfilled in their lives and their relationships. Anne will be joined by 23 thought-leaders, including Dr. John Gray, Marci Shimoff, Dr. Mark Hyman, and me.  My interview with Anne happens on August 19th at 11 AM PT.  This series will shine a light on your path so that you can see what’s getting in your way and then learn new strategies and tools to live your best life - a life of good health, fulfillment and great relationships.  For more info and to learn how you can participate in this teleseminar series for free, click here.

Teleclass Series with Body Image Expert Sarah Maria - Starting August 3rd

My friend and colleague, body-image expert Sarah Maria - author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, is launching a monthly teleclass series starting next week on August 3rd. Once a month, every month (for six months), she will be hosting a call on a variety of topics related to physical, mental, emotional health, well-being, spirituality, and personal growth.  Are you looking to transform your relationship to food and your body? Are you looking to improve your mental, emotional, or physical health? Are you embarking on a spiritual path and wanting to learn more about meditation and the realm of Spirit? Are you simply looking to improve your life, on any level?  These calls are designed to help you move in the direction you want to go - from where you are toward where you want to be. The first call is Tuesday, August 3rd, at 6pm PT / 9pm ET. The first call's topic is When to Listen, When to Ignore. Discover when it is best to listen to your impulses, versus when it is better to wait.  For more information and to register, click on this link.

If You Really Knew Me - MTV Series Tuesdays at 11 PM

As I've mentioned already in this week's newsletter and for the past few weeks, If You Really Knew Me is a new reality series that premiered MTV last week.  It airs every week at 11 PM on Tuesday nights (and then is replayed a number of times throughout the week).  The show takes place at a different high school each week, and follows five students from different cliques as they go through the life-changing experience of Challenge Day, a one-day, transformational program that breaks down the walls between cliques, and completely changes the way students view their school and each other. Michelle and I have been involved with Challenge Day for the past ten years and are passionate advocates for the miraculous work they do with teens, schools, and communities around the country.  This show is an opportunity to spread the love, awareness, and peace that Challenge Day creates to millions of people all over the world.  Tune in and catch the show...and, let others know about it.  For more information about the show, including a preview and more, click here.

"We get real all the time!"
- Samantha and Annarose Robbins

To see more photos of us and
our mommy and daddy, click here.

And, if you’d like to see some new,
special photos of us, click here.