June 17, 2010

In This Issue

Featured Article: Trust is Granted Not Earned

Announcements

Daddy's Little Girls

I hope you and those around you are doing well and having a fantastic week!

Michelle and I had a wonderful weekend celebrating our wedding anniversary.  We are looking forward to a fun summer of family time with our girls, gatherings, trips, adventures, and more - lots of good stuff!

Last week's article, "Are You Willing to Be Uncomfortable," got some nice feedback.  If you missed it or want to read it again, you can check it out on my blog or on the Huffington Post.

Also, there's a new piece of mine posted on Oprah.com about the controversial article recently published in Newsweek called "Straight Jacket."

Have a good one!  I'm honored and grateful to have you on my email list.

With Appreciation,



P.S. If you live here in the Bay Area, I'll be speaking at the Golden Gate Center for Spiritual Living in Corte Madera this Sunday, 6/20 (Father's Day), at 10 AM.  For more details, click here.



Trust is Granted Not Earned

(For this week's audio message, click here.)

How easily do you grant your trust to other people?  What factors play into your ability or inability to trust certain individuals around you?  What do people need to do to earn your trust?

As I personally reflect on these questions, I'm reminded of both the importance and complexity of trust in our lives, our work, and our relationships.  Trust is one of the most critical elements of healthy relationships, families, teams, organizations, and communities.  However, many of us have an odd or disempowered relationship to trust - we've been taught that people must earn our trust, when, in fact, it's something we grant to others.

I learned early in my life that it wasn't always safe to trust people - my folks split up when I was three, I went to tough schools and found myself in some difficult situations, and part of my "street-smart, survival kit" was to be very suspicious of just about everyone I came into contact with. While this did serve me to a certain degree as a child and adolescent (at least in terms of survival), as I got older I noticed that my resistance to trusting others created some real issues in my life and my relationships.

No matter how many "tests" I put people through in order to have them "earn" my trust, at the end of that whole process, it was ultimately up to me to grant them my trust (or not) - and then to continue to trust them (or not).

We each have our own internal process about trust - much of which is based on past, negative experiences.  In other words, we get burned, disappointed, or hurt in life and then decide, "I'm not doing that again" and we put up barriers around ourselves to keep us "safe."

While this makes rational sense, it usually leaves us guarded, leery, and insecure - unable to easily create meaningful and fulfilling relationships with people.  The irony is that no matter how guarded we are, how thick the walls we put up, or what we do to try to keep ourselves from getting hurt and disappointed; it usually happens anyway.

One of my teachers said to me years ago, "Mike, you're living as though you’re trying to survive life.  You have to remember, no one ever has."

What if we granted our trust more easily?  What if we were willing to make ourselves vulnerable, to count on other people in a genuine and healthy way, and to expect the best from others authentically?  Michael Bernard Beckwith calls this being "consciously naïve," which may seem a little oxymoronic on the surface, but at a much deeper level is very wise and profound concept.

Will be get hurt?  Yes!  Will we be let down?  Most certainly.  Will people violate our trust?  Of course.  However, this will happen anyway - it's just part of life.  Ironically, the more we are willing to grant our trust consciously, the more likely we are to create a true sense of connection, cooperation, and collaboration in our lives, relationships, families, teams, and more - even if we feel scared to do so or it seems counter-intuitive at times.

We almost always get what we expect in life.  What if we start expecting people to be there for us, to do things that are trust-worthy, and to have our backs and our best interests in mind?  As with just about everything else in life, it's a choice.  As Albert Einstein so brilliantly stated, "The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe."

I choose "friendly," how about you?

How easy is it for you to trust people?  Are you willing to start granting your trust more easily? Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog here.

To listen to this week's audio message, including additional thoughts, ideas, and tips, click here.




Telesummit - Quantum Healing, Consciousness & Soul

I'm excited and honored to be a part of this great new telesummit, called Quantum Healing, Consciousness and Soul, which just started yesterday (June 16th).  This extraordinary no-cost event, which you can still be a part of, features me, David Simon, Bernie Siegel, Michael Neill, and about 20 other authors and thought-leaders.  This series will reveal the keys to how you can unlock your hidden potential in these amazing and turbulent times.  Join me, together with these expert mentors, teachers and healers from the front lines of spirituality, wellness and human transformation, as we explore some of their most profound and life-changing secrets and powerful, practical tools for radical transformation.  My session is on July 6th.  By the way, don't worry if you can't make each sessions live. Every session will be recorded and available for an additional 48 hours after the live class for free.  For more info and to register for this no-cost event, click here.

Breakthrough Performance - Stacey Vornbrock, M.S.

I met Stacey Vornbrock a few months ago when I was speaking in Phoenix, AZ.  Stacey is an amazing woman who is pioneering the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) with professional and amateur athletes to release mental, emotional, physical, and mechanical blocks on the cellular level, allowing athletes to perform at their optimum levels. I have worked with her personally and her work has had a profound impact on me – physically, emotionally, and mentally.  She has developed a powerful procedure to address athlete’s current injuries that has consistently reduced their healing time by three to four weeks. Her process Mechanical Changes in Minutes™ helps athletes make the most complex mechanical changes within minutes rather than months. Stacey also works with athletes to heal past injuries and let go of emotional blocks, as well as to increase confidence, eliminate sports performance anxiety, release past mistakes, breakthrough comfort zones, and learn recovery techniques to reduce fatigue and exhaustion. To find out more about Stacey and her work, click here.

Active Learning Journey - A Powerful Experiential Program for Men

My friend Chris Kyle and his business partner Ray Arata have created a powerful, experiential program called the Active Learning Journey (ALJ).  ALJ is a unique outdoor, experiential workshop designed for men to ask and answer the questions about what they most wish to create in their life at this time.  The program provides an environment where deep insights arise that aid men in moving past the blocks and limiting beliefs that may prevent them from having the life of their design. Chris and Ray blend outdoor activities (cycling, kayaking, hiking etc.), facilitated group processes, a supportive community of men along with core masculine principles to help you navigate what it means to be a man in today's world in all your roles as a man: father, husband, leader, friend, partner, businessman or entrepreneur.  For more information and to find out dates of upcoming programs, click on this link.

"We grant our trust pretty easily -
the world is a safe place for us!"
- Samantha and Annarose Robbins

To see more photos of us and
our mommy and daddy, click here.