May 5, 2009
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In This Issue
Featured Article: Transform Your Fear
Announcements
Speaking Schedule
Daddy's Little Girls
Welcome to this week’s issue of Appreciation (and Authenticity) in Action.
I’m in the Los Angeles area this week for some events connected to the release of Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken. The events have been fun and the feedback for my new book continues to be positive and exciting. People are really resonating with the power of authenticity and I’m having fun!
If you live in Southern California and want to come and see me at Borders in Torrance tomorrow night (5/6) at 7:00 PM, it will be fun to see you. For more information about this event and other public events I have coming up in the weeks and months ahead, check out this link.
This week’s article focuses on Transforming Your Fear, which is Principle #2 (of my Five Principles of Authenticity) from Be Yourself. Enjoy!
Thanks for being on my email list…I’m honored. Have a wonderful day and rest of your week!
With Gratitude,
Transform Your Fear
Fear is something that we all experience throughout our lives, especially on our journey toward deeper authenticity. Being who we really are, expressing ourselves honestly, being bold, and going for what we want in life can cause a great deal of fear in us.
I get scared all the time. When I was younger I thought there was something really wrong with me because I would get so nervous – in sports, in school, in social settings, and more. I now understand that everyone else experiences their own version of the same basic fears I have (being judged, making mistakes, looking bad, failing, disappointing others, and more). It’s just part of being human.
Many of us run away or hide from our fears because they seem scary, uncomfortable, or embarrassing. We also erroneously think we “shouldn’t” have them or that we are somehow “wrong” for feeling scared. However, most things that mean a lot to us in life don’t show up without any fear at all. And as we strive to live with authenticity, it’s inevitable that we’ll experience quite a bit of fear along the way.
The question isn’t whether or not we experience fear in our lives (because we all do and always will for as long as we live); the more important question for each of us to ask and answer is, how can I move through my fears in an honest way so they don’t stop me from being who I really am and going for what I truly want in life?
How to move through your fear in a positive way:
1) Admit it – Acknowledge your fear, tell the truth about it, and be real. When we feel scared and are willing to admit it with a sense of empathy and compassion for ourselves, it can often take the edge off and give us a little breathing room to begin with.
2) Own it – Take responsibility for your fear and own it as yours, not anyone else’s. We often have a tendency to blame others for doing or saying things that “scare us.” However, when we remember that no one else can “make” us scared – only we have that power – we take back the responsibility and the power of the fear and remember that it exists within us, so we are the only ones who can change it.
3) Feel it – Allow yourself to feel your fear, not just think about it or talk about it (something I often catch myself doing). Feel it in your body and allow yourself to go into the emotion of it, even if it is scary or uncomfortable. Like any emotion, when we feel our fear deeply and passionately, it has a way of dissipating.
4) Express it – Let it out. Speak, write, emote, move your body, yell, or do whatever you feel is necessary for you to do to express your fear. Similar to feeling any emotion with intensity, when we express emotions with intensity and passion, they move right through us. When we repress our emotions, they get stuck and can become debilitating and dangerous.
5) Let it go – This one is often easier said than done – for me and many people I work with. Letting go of our fear becomes much easier when we honestly admit, own, feel, and express it. Letting go of our fear is a conscious and deliberate choice, not a reactionary form of denial. Once you’ve allowed yourself the time to work through your fear, you can declare “I’m choosing to let go of my fear and use its energy in a positive way.”
6) Visualize the positive outcomes you desire – Think about, speak out loud, write down, or even close your eyes and visualize how you want things to be and, more important, how you want to feel. If your fear is focused on something specific like your work, a relationship, money, etc. – visualize it being how you want it to be and allow yourself to feel how to ultimately want to feel.
7) Take action – Be willing to take bold and courageous actions, even if you’re still feeling nervous. Your legs may shake, your voice might quiver, but that doesn’t have to stop you from saying what’s on your mind, taking a risk, making a request, trying something new, or being bold in a small or big way. Doing this is what builds confidence and allow us to move through our fear.
Fear can and does stop us in life – from being ourselves, speaking our truth, and going for what we really want. But, when we remember with compassion that there’s nothing wrong with us for getting scared and when we’re willing to lean into our fears with vulnerability and boldness – we can literally transform them into something that catapults our growth and fulfillment in life.
What would you do or say if fear didn’t stop you? Share your thoughts, ideas, feedback, and questions on my blog here. 
MEGA Book University – June 5, 6, & 7, Orlando, FL
Mark Victor Hansen, co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books knows a thing or two about book marketing. He has put together a series of powerful conferences in the past few years – empowering authors, speakers, and soon-to-be authors with knowledge, tips, and inside information about how the book business really works. I attended one of his MEGA book events in the spring of 2007 in New York and it dramatically increased my understanding and awareness of the publishing business and how to promote my books. Next month the MEGA Book University event in Orlando, FL will be incredible. If you are thinking about writing a book, in the process of working on a book, or have a book that you want to get out to more people – check out Mark’s program and the list of incredible authors, agents, publishers, and more who will be at the event on June 5, 6 & 7. For info and to register, click here.
Great New Book - A Suitcase Full of Faith,
by Saskia Roell
This is a captivating story of adventure, suspense, wild romance, wisdom and extraordinary
miracles. Saskia invites you as a fellow companion in her breath taking encounters around the world. Her story and this wonderful book will ignite your
courage, inspire you to follow your heart’s lead and remind you to put your faith into
action to achieve a remarkable life! For info about this book and to receive bonuses from lots of great authors, including me, click on this link.
Get Copies of My New Book:
As you know, my new book, Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken: Transform Your Life with the Power of Authenticity, officially came a few weeks ago. I’m super excited about this new book and about sharing some important ideas, principles, and practices that you can use to live your life with a deeper sense of authenticity, fulfillment, and confidence. You can still order discounted copies of my book and receive free bonusess from amazing authors like Michael Bernard Beckwith, SARK, Mark Victor Hansen, and many, many others, click here.
Where I’m Speaking:
Below is a list of where and when I’m speaking for the next few months. Many of these events are for my corporate or organizational clients (i.e. not open to the public). The ones in bold, however, are public events….most of which are book events. I hope to see you at one of these!
For all my upcoming public events, check out http://www.beyourselfbook.com/events.htm. If you live in any of the cities where I’ll be traveling and want to contact me about setting up a speaking engagement for your group or company, or doing a book related event while I’m in town, feel free to contact me.
5/6/09 – Torrance, CA (Borders)
5/7/09 – Riverside, CA
5/9/09 – San Mateo, CA
5/14/09 – Pleasant Hill, CA (Borders)
5/15/09 – Santa Rosa, CA
5/17/09 – San Jose, CA (SJCSL)
5/18/09 – Richmond, CA
5/20/09 – Campbell, CA
6/3/09 – Mountain View, CA
6/7/09 – Corte Madera, CA (GGCSL)
6/8/09 – San Francisco, CA (Commonwealth Club)
6/9/09 – San Francisco, CA
6/10/09 – Oakland, CA (OCSL)
6/16/09 – San Francisco, CA
6/17/09 – San Francisco, CA
6/25/09 – Palo Alto, CA
Again, for a full list of my upcoming public events, check out: http://www.beyourselfbook.com/events.htm.
“We like to play dress up!”
- Samantha and Annarose Robbins
