May 5, 2010

In This Issue

Featured Article: Loving Your Ugly

Announcements

Daddy's Little Girls

Hey there! Happy Cinco de Mayo! I hope you are doing well and having a fantastic week.  Life is good, if we choose to look for and find the good around and within us!

Last week's article, "Keep Your Head in the Clouds and Your Feet on the Ground" got some nice feedback.  Check it out on my blog or on the Huffington Post if you missed it or want to re-read it.

This week we have our first ever guest article.  Life Coach Sara Nowlin has written a wonderful article called "Loving Your Ugly" and I'm excited to share it with you.  Sara also happens to be my good friend and my assistant.

I hope you enjoy her article! This is a big deal for both of us. Feel free to reply to her directly or post on the blog with feedback.  I recorded this week's audio message myself - using the theme of Sara's great article. Click on the link below to listen to my audio.

Have a great day and rest of your week.  I continue to be humbled, grateful, and excited to have you on my email list and to be able to connect with you this way.

With Appreciation,





Loving Your Ugly

(For this week's audio message, by me, click here.)

Guest article – by Sara Nowlin

To really love ourselves fully, we must love all of who we are - the good, the bad, and especially the ugly.

For me and many people I know, it's much easier to love and embrace the good - the best parts of us - our talents, positive personality traits, and the most attractive parts of our body.  The bad parts are a little more difficult to love.  Our ugly parts, the ones we often want to ignore or forget, are much more challenging to accept and appreciate. However, it's these ugly parts that are the most crucial for us to love in order to be authentic and at peace in our life.

When we think of these ugly parts of ourselves, they're often things we're ashamed of, feel guilty about, and try to hide from others (and sometimes even ourselves).  They might be parts of our personality, aspects of our body, or even actions or experiences from our past.

The ugly part of myself that I've been learning to love is the aspect of my personality that bulldozes people.  This "bulldozer" comes out when I want something to go my way and there are others who think it should go another way.  My actions and attitude will flatten them and silence their voice.

We are taught from a young age that we can only show our good sides, and we must hide the bad ones.  Because we usually hide these ugly parts, we often think we're the only ones who have them. If we start telling the truth about the ugly parts, we will begin to see that we are not alone - it's just part of being human.

If we can embrace our humanity with compassion and forgive ourselves for these ugly parts, we don't have to be driven by the need to hide them.  Doing this allows us to become more authentically who we are and also allows us to regain the energy that we've used to hold down and hide this ugly stuff.

Sometimes, people confuse "loving" with approving or condoning, especially when our ugly parts hurt others or ourselves. The bulldozer part of me is definitely not something that I approve of or condone.  However, "loving" can mean that we give up making it wrong and become more neutral about it.  In other words, we accept it as part of being human and part of who we are.  I can accept and embrace my bulldozer as one part of the spectrum of my humanness. I don't have to beat myself up when it comes up, but just own it and apologize when it squashes people.

Here are a few steps to help you love your own ugly and to accept yourself fully:

1. Tell the Truth to Yourself - Before we can shift or change anything, we need to know what we are dealing with.  Examine all the thoughts, feelings, and judgments you have about your ugly parts (or some specific ugly part you want to make peace with).  It often takes a lot of courage for us to shine a light on something we try to keep in the dark.  However, we can't love or embrace what we can't see.

2. Be Willing to Give Up the Judgment - Our thoughts and judgments about an ugly part of ourselves can often seem like the "truth."  However, they are just our thoughts and judgments.  If we can begin to separate our judgments from the truth, there is space to see something new.

3. Find the Value - Everything has some positive value, even the ugliest stuff.  There is a gift, something to appreciate, that this ugly aspect of who you are provides. This is often a difficult step since we have spent so much of our time and energy judging this part of who we are.  Although it may be difficult to find, seeing the value of your ugly is the key to finding compassion and forgiveness for yourself.

4. Embrace and Integrate - Once we find the value, we can begin to embrace it for what it gives us rather than hate it for what it takes away.  The protective walls containing the ugly part start to fall away.  The negative charge around it diminishes.  When you embrace and integrate the ugly, you will find more freedom and ease to be your authentic self.

5. Share with Others - Sharing with other people can remind you that you are not alone.  Friends and family can also support us by reminding us to love that ugly part when we forget.  Sharing can also inspire others to do the same - to love and accept all of who they are.

Please be gentle with yourself as you do this work.  It can be quite challenging and vulnerable, but can have a powerful impact on your life in the process.  Also remember that you don't have to do it alone.  I often do this work with people I trust since it can be scary to look at the ugly.  But, the freedom and peace that comes from doing this, makes it worth it.

Sara Nowlin is a life coach and workshop facilitator.  For more information about her work or to contact her, email her at saranowlin@gmail.com.  You can also follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

What are some "ugly" aspects of yourself that you're willing to accept, appreciate, and love?  Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more on my blog here.

To listen to this week's audio message from Mike, click here.




Great New Book - The Shadow Effect

Is your shadow side making your choices and driving your behavior? Are your past and the parts of yourself that you have hidden away keeping you from delivering your gifts to the world? Join Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson on a journey of transformation in The Shadow Effect.  For the first time ever, these three New York Times bestselling authors have joined together to shine light on this most provocative issue. Now is the time to make peace with yourself, others and the world and discover the strength to let go of the past and all that keeps you from fulfilling your dreams. You will find courage and compassion as you illuminate the power of your hidden self.  For more information and to purchase copies of this powerful new book today, click here.

Wayne Dyer in San Francisco - May 8th, 2010

In this all-new program, "Making the Shift from Ambition to Meaning," Dr. Wayne W. Dyer illustrates how and why making such a shift eliminates our feelings of separateness, illuminates our spiritual connectedness, and involves moving from the ego-directed morning into the afternoon of life where everything is primarily influenced by purpose.  This day-long seminar, based on Wayne's most recent book and his film "The Shift," takes place in San Francisco on Saturday, 5/8 from 10 AM to 5 PM at the Hilton Union Square Hotel.  Michelle and I will be attending and we are so excited.  For more information and to get tickets, click on this link.

Conscious Business Telesummit - May 3rd - June 9th

Have you ever felt discomfort or dread about marketing your business?  If so, this powerful telesummit will allow you to experience a huge shift.  Whether your skin crawls while reading hyped up sales letters or you can't articulate what you do in a way that others understand, you're about to discover a new marketing that is - heart centered, value based, meaning oriented, and generates income!  I'm honored to be one of the 30 experts who are part of the Conscious Business Telesummit which started on Monday, May 3rd and runs through June 9th (my session is on May 18th).  You can still sign up for this telesummit and participate in all the calls for free.  For more info about it and to register to get your "marketing mojo" click here.

Raising Our Children's BQ - IONS Workshop with Steve Sisgold, May 14-16th

The highly interactive workshop, "Raising Our Children's BQ - How to Teach Our Kids to Trust Their Body's Messages," takes place at EarthRise Retreat Center, at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS) in Petaluma, California May 14th, 15th, and 16th.  This program delivered by my good friend Steve Sisgold, author of What's Your Body Telling You, is designed to teach parents, family therapists, teachers and child care professionals a Whole Body step by step program that helps them better understand themselves and how they can impact children. This weekend includes a blending of scientific research, examining case studies and practicing effective, tangible techniques.  For more information and to sign up, click here.

"We love our ugly, although given how cute and amazing
we are, we don't have that much ugly!"
- Samantha and Annarose Robbins

To see more photos of us and
our mommy and daddy, click here.