Mike Robbins - The Power of Listening

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Inspiration:

“To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well.”

- Chinese proverb

For more quotes like this, click here.

September 30, 2008

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In This Issue

Featured Article: The Power of Listening

Audio Tip

Announcements

Speaking Schedule

Daddy's Little Girls

Greetings!

Welcome to another issue of Appreciation in Action. I hope you are doing well and that you’re able to focus on the good stuff, appreciate the people around you, and appreciate yourself – even and especially in the midst of whatever challenges, uncertainty, and fear that may be showing up in your life (financial or otherwise). When we take time to count our blessings…we always have so much more than we often realize.

Things in “baby land” are good for us. We are falling more and more in love with baby Annarose each day…and at the same time adjusting to life with two little ones (lots of learning for all of us). She is a little over a month now and we continue to be grateful for her presence in our family. Have a great day and week. I’m grateful to have you on my e-zine list!

With Appreciation,

The Power of Listening

How well do you listen to the people around you? For many of us, myself included, listening can be challenging at times. We’re often busy, focused on ourselves and what we want to say, evaluating the person speaking and what they’re saying, distracted with all the other things we think we “should” be doing instead of listening to them, and more. With this and others things getting in our way, it’s amazing that we ever hear anything that anyone says at all.

However, listening is not only the most important aspect of communication – it can make or break our relationships. Our ability to appreciate, respond to, and empower others is based on our ability to listen to them in an empowering and open way.

There are three levels of listening and some important things we can do to become more effective in our ability to listen to others:

1) Be Present – Give the person your full attention (stop typing, watching TV, or doing anything else). Multi-tasking doesn’t work when you’re listening to others. When we’re present, we’re able to actually hear what they’re saying, get the information, and pay attention to them in a way that has them feel acknowledged and important.

2) Make an Emotional Connection – Once we’re present and actually hear what they’re saying, we have the ability to listen between the words. This allows us to hear and feel what they truly mean, understand where they’re coming from, and know what they want. When we connect with the person emotionally, it’s much easier to resolve a conflict, understand them, or figure out how to support them.

3) Listen in an Empowering Way – Pay attention to the opinion you have about the person or what they’re saying. If your opinion is empowering (i.e. positive), great. If not, see if you can “upgrade” it (i.e. find the good stuff). This is not about agreeing with or liking everyone, it’s about taking responsibility for our judgments and realizing that our opinions color what we hear and how we hear it. It’s difficult to have an empowering or positive conversation with someone whom we judge in a negative way. It may take some work on our part to find the good stuff or work through our issues with the person, but if we’re committed to having healthy communications and relationships, identifying our judgments and doing whatever we can to move through them will allow us to listen to others in an empowering way.

When we’re able to do the internal work it takes to become a better listener (slow down, pay attention, be present, connect with people, be honest, let go of our self righteous judgments, and more) we can enhance our relationships in a profound way.

With the rushed and judgmental nature of life, business, and culture today, being someone who has the ability to really listen to others is such a vital skill and such a blessing to all of those around you. It’s not always easy, it takes some practice and humility, and is an on-going, moment-by-moment phenomenon. However, listening to others can allow for so many positive things:

- Improved communication
- Resolved conflicts
- Deeper connections
- Greater appreciation
- Enhanced understanding
- Increased learning
- Profound awareness

Have fun with it as you practice. See if you can put some attention today and the rest of this week on taking time to really listen to the people around you. I bet they will love it and you’ll be amazed at what happens.

Share Your Thoughts / Feedback on this article at my blog.

For some additional ideas and specific tips, check out this week’s audio clip.

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The Power of Listening

Here are some additional thoughts and tips about how we can become better listeners ourselves and benefit from listening to others.

Click here to listen.

Book Recommendation:

The Passion Test

by Chris and Janet Attwood
Today, and in conjunction with International Passion Day, Chris and Janet Attwood have released the paperback version of their New York Times bestselling book, The Passion Test. This wonderful book can help you get in touch with your passion, generate more passion in your work and your life, and empower you to take things to the next level in every area of your life. Included in the book is an actual “passion test” which will give you specific feedback about your passions. When you purchase the book today, you’ll be able to get lots of free products from other authors and speakers, like me. Click on the link below for more information.
www.thepassiontest.com/offer/home?af=26122

My Seminar at Agape in Los Angeles,

CA – October 5, 2008:
I mentioned in the last issue, I'm delivering a workshop called "Transform Your Life With the Power of Appreciation" on Sunday, October 5th at Rev. Michael Beckwith's Agape International Spiritual Center in Culver City, CA (in the LA area...not far from LAX). I'm so excited and honored to have been invited to speak at Agape. The workshop, based on my book Focus on the Good Stuff, is about understanding and practicing the magical power of appreciation in a life-altering way - for you and those around you. In this interactive seminar, people will learn how to harness appreciation and gratitude in a personal way that can transform their life and relationships. If you or anyone you know lives in the LA area – it would be great to have you or them attend. For more information and to register for the workshop, click here.

Check Out This Clip of Me Speaking:

Click Here to Play Video via YouTube Player

Below is a list of where I’m speaking for the next few months. Most of these events are for my corporate or organizational clients (i.e. not open to the public). The events listed in bold text below are at bookstores, churches, and other public venues which anyone can attend. I would love to see you or people you know at one of my public events. And, if you live in any of the cities where I’ll be traveling and want to contact me about setting up a speaking engagement for your group or company while I’m in town, feel free to contact me. Thanks! For more detailed information about my public events, feel free to visit: www.focusonthegoodstuff.com/publicevents.html

10/4/08 – Cincinnati, OH

10/5/08 – Los Angeles, CA – public event (Agape)

10/6/08 – Los Angeles, CA

10/7/08 – Los Angeles, CA

10/8/08 – San Francisco, CA

10/14/08 – Martinez, CA

10/15/08 – San Francisco, CA

10/17/08 – Los Angeles, CA

10/18/08 – Pleasanton, CA

10/21/08 – South San Francisco, CA

10/23/08 – San Francisco, CA

10/26/08 – Palo Alto, CA – public event (Unity Palo Alto)